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                                             The Golden Valley Times 

12/8/2013

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MAN ATTACKS COMPOST!
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Earlier today, eyewitnesses told of what they could only describe as a 'vicious attack' in Golden Valley.

A man in his late thirties was seen laying into several tons of compost with what appeared to be an old mattock.

When asked why he was attacking the heap, the man apparently replied "it looked at me funny".
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